Thinking of Etta. Ah, heartache. I spent the better part of yesterday listening to your voice while I nurse a memory.

He would not stay for me, and who can wonder?
A.E. Housman

He would not stay for me, and who can wonder?
He would not stay for me to stand and gaze.
I shook his hand, and tore my heart in sunder,
And went with half my life about my ways.

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I had to deal with a few things and talk to myself for awhile, without anybody listening. Witnesses only compound the pain. But here I am again. Quite myself again. In Pampanga, in the car, while S. goes to find the bathroom, and S. pays for gas, I was seized with the urge to just cry and cry. But I didn’t. I missed a lot of things, sure. But I’m learning. Quite myself again, I hope.

Hello, December.

Oh, When I Was In Love With You
A.E. Housman

Oh, when I was in love with you,
    Then I was clean and brave,
And miles around the wonder grew
    How well did I behave.

And now the fancy passes by,
    And nothing will remain,
And miles around they’ll say that I
    Am quite myself again.